The eigenstate thermalization hypothesis (ETH) attempts to bridge the gap between quantum mechanical and statistical mechanical descriptions of isolated quantum systems. Here, we define unbiased measures for how well the ETH works in various regimes, by mapping general interacting quantum systems on regular lattices onto a single particle living on a high-dimensional graph. By numerically analyzing deviations from ETH behavior in the nonintegrable Ising model, we propose a quantity that we call the n-weight to democratically characterize the average deviations for all operators residing on a given number of sites, irrespective of their spatial structure. It appears to have a simple scaling form, which we conjecture to hold true for all nonintegrable systems. A closely related quantity, which we term the n-distinguishability, tells us how well two states can be distinguished if only n-site operators are measured. Along the way, we discover that complicated operators on average are worse than simple ones at distinguishing between neighboring eigenstates, contrary to the naive intuition created by the usual statements of the ETH that few-body (many-body) operators acquire the same (different) expectation values in nearby eigenstates at finite energy density. Finally, we sketch heuristic arguments that the ETH originates from the limited ability of simple operators to distinguish between quantum states of a system, especially when the states are subject to constraints such as roughly fixed energy with respect to a local Hamiltonian.