A 75-year-old man presented with a fungating peri-anal mass which appeared malignant at presentation and required a defunctioning colostomy due to abdominal distension. Multiple biopsies were negative for malignancy and CT/MRI scans showed no malignant mass. A provisional diagnosis of prolapsed haemorrhoids was made and the mass was treated with sugar and charcoal dressings. There was a dramatic resolution of the mass with this treatment and the patient was discharged 1 month post-admission. The patient then underwent an elective haemorrhoidectomy by which time the mass had decreased to a perianal skin tag. The only clues in this case were the acute presentation of the mass, the fact that the mass had appeared post-defecation and that the patient had been diagnosed with haemorrhoids 2 years previously on colonoscopy. This case highlights the importance of evaluating all investigations and considering all differential diagnoses before embarking on definitive management.